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The Wild and Wacky
It’s Monday, so — to borrow a line from Marv Albert — let’s cover the wild and wacky over the weekend.
First up, police pull over a driver, find a disoriented man inside, and ask him to get out of the car. When the man stuck both arms out of the window and responded, “I cannot exit,” the police jerked him out the car window, dragged him by his knees, roughed him up, and then arrested him. The catch: The man wasn’t an uncooperative drunk, he was a diabetic paraplegic, which is why he told police he couldn’t get out of the car. Oopsie.
Next: A 72-year-old woman was sentenced to two years of prison on Friday for animal cruelty. Apparently, she went to a local veterinary clinic and asked them to euthanize her dogs. The clinic said it would cost $120, and because the elderly lady apparently couldn’t afford that, she poisoned, shot, and then burned to death her four German Shepherds. Her son was also imprisoned for 16 months for “hosting the bonfire.” That’s a fucked up bonfire.
I hate putting this one in an odd news post, but it just goes to show you that you should never point a gun at anyone, especially yourself. Indeed, a 26-year-old sheriff’s deputy was at a friend’s party with his gun. He told the guests that his .45 wasn’t loaded, pointed it at his face, and pulled the trigger, shooting himself in the face. He was pronounced dead at the scene. You gotta admit it, though: It’s one hell of a party trick.
Finally, here is a 1998 quote from Republican House of Representative Mark Foley, who abruptly resigned last Friday amid allegations (backed up by emails) that he was sexually harassing underage pages: “It’s vile. It’s more sad than anything else, to see someone with such potential throw it all down the drain because of a sexual addiction.” Of course, Foley was talking about President Clinton at the time, but man - how’s that for some sick irony?
