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The Life and Times of Vinegar Boy
I got sucked into this story this morning on a message board site called, Customers Suck. It was weirdly fascinating, and I couldn’t bring myself to quit it. It’s just this phenomenally bizarre account of a graveyard-shift cashier who sells a 15-year-old kid a bottle of malt vinegar (yes, vinegar), and this dumb kid drinks the malt vinegar and gets sick and starts redecorating the wall and doors of his house.
So after the kid drinks the vinegar, his mother comes into the store, threatens a lawsuit and demands an apology, claiming that the teller tried to poison her son, and that he should be fired for selling malt vinegar to a 15-year-old. Clearly, this woman is off her rocker. She goes so far as to suggest that the teller told her son to drink the vinegar, and then when the security tape reveals that he did nothing of the sort, she claims that the security tape was edited.
Anyway, for those of you interested, I’ll let you read the entire account, but before it ends, people are fired, lawyers are brought in, and apology demands are thrown around like confetti. Be warned, however: Despite the rambly writing, it’s mysteriously engrossing and on the longish side. If the Hollywood strike goes through, studios may find themselves adapting this for the big screen, starring Meryl Streep as the teller, Jessie Eisenberg as the idiot child, and Renee Zellwegger as the shitty mom.
Comments
Wow, that was awesome. I'm kind of sad the suit was settled.
Posted by k | October 21, 2007 8:20 AM
Worth the 15 minutes it took to read it. I can only assume the 'tard thought it was malt liquor. Kind of like those geniuses who think, "Nyquil's 65% alcohol? I'm getting wasted!" That story is awesome.
Posted by Kitty X | October 22, 2007 5:00 PM
I recently discovered Customers Suck, and that entry is one of my favourites. It's surprisigly engrossing! I also have a soft spot for the bookstore related anecdotes; they take me right back to my bookselling days at Chapters.
Posted by Lisa | October 22, 2007 7:56 PM