« They may tax our income, but they’ll never tax … our internet! | Main | The Daily Memo - 9/24/07 »

That’s Judge Seuss, thank you very much

greenEggs.jpgThis story has been all over the legal blogs, but in case you missed it, a federal magistrate recently issued an opinion in response to a suit filed by a prisoner, and he used Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham as the inspiration for his decision. Charles Jay Wolff is serving 10-to-20 for aggravated felonious sexual assault, and he’s filed a lawsuit against the prison because it allegedly refused to provide him with a medically adequate and kosher diet. And attached to his complaint was an exhibit in the form of a hard-boiled egg (Wolff says he can’t eat hard-boiled eggs, so he was pissed when the prison tried to serve them to him). And it seems that Judge James Muirhead wasn’t too pleased to see an egg show up in the court file.

No fan I am
Of the egg at hand.
Just like no ham
On the kosher plan.
This egg will rot
I kid you not.
And stink it can
This egg at hand.
There will be no eggs at court
To prove a clog in your aort.
There will be no eggs accepted.
Objections all will be rejected.
From this day forth
This court will ban
hard-boiled eggs of any brand.
And if you should not understand
The meaning of the ban at hand
Then you should contact either Dan,
the Deputy Clerk, or my clerk Jan.
I do not like eggs in the file.
I do not like them in any style.
I will not take them fried or boiled.
I will not take them poached or boiled.
I will not take them soft or scrambled
Despite an argument well-rambled.
No fan I am
Of the egg at hand.
Destroy that egg!
Today! Today!
Today I say! Without delay!

Wolff’s attorney says that the egg has since been trashed.

(Hat tip to QuizLaw pal Jimmy V. and the the WSJ Law Blog.)