« My Mother Never Saw the Irony in Calling Me a Son of a Bitch | Main | The Daily Memo - 1/16/07 »

SWF Seeking Pompous Self-Important Asshole

bicep.jpgAll you single ladies out there, listen up! If you want a pompous man, if you want a self-important man, if you want an asshole, head on down to Orlando, because the catch of the year is waiting for you to scoop him up!

That’s right, ladies, Kurt Spath, a 36 year-old insurance adjustor who loves cooking and outdoor activities almost as much as he loves himself, is waiting for you to take his breath away. He’s an insurance adjustor, what’s not to love women, what’s not to love?

Now you should be warned, ladies, Mr. Spath is a man of refined tastes and he won’t just settle for any old hag. Just ask The Events and Adventures Club, a singles group now being sued by Mr. Spath. The club promised Mr. Spath the chance to hook up with sophisticated and professional women, and he paid over a grand for this privilege. But lo and behold, none of the women were worthy of Mr. Spath’s refined attention and love.

A local reporter asked Mr. Spath if it was “safe to say you think you are better than everybody in this group?” But Mr. Spath is a publicly humble man and didn’t fall for this attempt to trap him: “I’d say I’m different. These people are not what I was looking for and what I was promised.” But trust me ladies, what Mr. Spath wanted to say was: “These women were dirty ugly skanks and not worth my time of day. I’m Kurt Spath, and I demand sheer beauty and excellence from my women.”

So if you have sheer beauty and excellence, respond now. We have a feeling Mr. Spath won’t be on the open market for long!

| Comments (1)


this guy had a teeny weeny and herpes...that's why he's single