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Stupid criminals need the most love

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It would appear that Bentonville, Arkansas is a great place for the victims of petty crime to live. For example, let’s say you’re a Wal-Mart cashier and you recently had your wallet snatched. In most other cities in our fair nation, there are several possible outcomes. First potential outcome? The cops ignore your filed complaint and you carry on with your walletless life. Second potential outcome? The cops don’t ignore your complaint, but since they don’t have any real leads and there are various murders and drug crimes going on all over the place, you’re still stuck carrying on with your walletless life. Third potential outcome? You try to track down your vanished wallet on your own and of course get nowhere, leaving you to carry on with your walletless life. I think you see the pattern here - you’re most likely not getting your wallet back.

But the criminals in Bentonville make it nice and easy. Remember our hypothetical? You’re a Wal-Mart cashier. So two days after your wallet was lifted, when a customer comes up to your register to pick up some stuff, whose credit card does she give you? Yup - yours!

That customer has of course been charged with all sorts of good things, like forgery, breaking and entering, fraudulent use of a credit card and even two drug charges, while the store clerk is carrying on with her walleted life.

“Come to Bentonville, where the criminals are so stupid they give you your stuff back!”