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Sometimes, Lawyers Just Suck
Defamer has already covered this story with the middle-of-the-brow snarkiness we’ve come to know and love, but for the anti-hipsters (read: lawyers and law students) who still think that Nick Denton is the shortstop for some West Coast MLB team, the story bears repeating, if only to show how the despicable behavior of a client fosters despicable behavior from lawyers.
The story concerns an article written by the LAT about a date-rape allegation brought by an 18-year-old former virgin against Joe Francis, the purveyor of the “Girls Gone Wild Videos” and walking gag-reflex. Joe has had a history of lawsuits, though the son of bitch keeps coming out clean, hiding his exploitative brand of misogyny behind the First Amendment. Anyway, according to Jannel Szyszka, she was grabbed by Francis one night and invited to do a few shots, which led to an unseemly performance in front of the camera. Minutes later, however, Francis asked the camera man to leave and “pushed her back on the bed, undid his jeans and climbed on top of her.” According to Szyszka:
I told him it hurt, and he kept doing it. And I keep telling him it hurts. I said, ‘No’ twice in the beginning, and during I started saying, ‘Oh, my god, it hurts.’ I kept telling him it hurt, but he kept going, and he said he was sorry but kissed me so I wouldn’t keep talking.
After the incident, Francis asked the cameraman to return and told him, “She’s not a virgin anymore.” Afterwards, Francis asked Szyszka to keep the incident between themselves. Several weeks later, Francis then threatened to ruin the LAT reporter for printing the story, referring her to his lawyer, Michael Kerry Burke, who responded with this email:
“Neither Mr. Francis nor any of the GGW staff in or around the bus recall Ms. Szyszka making any complaint or comment about Mr. Francis. In fact, Ms. Szyszka was in good spirits after the encounter, and numerous witnesses have stated that she danced with her friends outside the bus for nearly two hours afterward … Though Mr. Francis cannot speak to Ms. Szyszka’s discomfort during the encounter, other news stories have commented that Mr. Francis is reputedly well-endowed.”
Welcome to the legal profession, folks. Make millions of dollars for high-profile clients by dismissing rape allegations by claiming that your client is well-endowed. Because, you know, penis size is absolutely relevant to question of consent. In fact, it’s the next trend in legal defense: Forget about the Twinkie defense, folks. From here on out, expect to hear a lot about the large-member defense. Are you taking notes, David Kelly?
Comments
Dustin,
Without in any way making light of the seriousness of the allegations - and yeah, the guy disgusts me too, and did when I read the article and though "rape!" - I am annoyed by your invocation of the LMD.
Like the twinkie defense, that's a highly unfair label. The twinkie defense was,
"My client should not be convicted of murder because he suffered from diminished capacity. As evidence of the fact of his dim cap, consider this: a normally hygienic, highly motivated, healthful, and healthy-eating person let themselves go, stopped showering and washing clothes, and ate a lot of candy - for weeks and weeks." I don't know about you, but eating a lot of candy makes me feel disgusting. It's not the twinkie defense, as many lawyers know. It's the "diminished capacity" defense.
Here, the LMD is being used to rebut an inference. The inference is that if the victim (for lack of a better term - and at least she is a victim of the accused, although "rape victim" remains to be proved) complained of discomfort, then it must have been forcible rape.
The attempted rebuttal of the inference is, although the sex may have been consensual (although, how much alcohol did she drink? Was the accused reckless as to her capacity?) she might have experienced discomfort anyway.
Thus, the LMD dissolves under the cold water of examination. Shrinkage...
Posted by Eh Nonymous | August 14, 2006 11:42 AM