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One Bold M’Fer

ronniecraven.jpgSo, there’s this guy named Ronnie Craven, who lives out in Somerville, MA (where both Seth and I have lived at separate times — represent!). And in an effort to get a date, he posted an ad on Craiglist claiming he was Jeff Turner, a front-office employee and former dribbler for the Seattle Supersonics. Things we’re going well for a while, until the woman he was dating did a simple Google search (note to online daters: Google first, fuck second) and realized that Ronnie was not who he said he was. Now, the Seattle Supersonics are actually threatening a cease and desist letter, if Craven benefited financially by the fraud (he did not).

But, my favorite part of this incident is Craven’s chutzpah; he’s not denying. He’s rolling with it:

“I am going to be honest with you. I don’t work for them,” the man who posed as Turner said from his home in Somerville, a Boston suburb, when reached by the Seattle P-I on Monday. “(The situation was) all brought on by an online dating thing. Craigslist. I lied to her. Does that mean I can go out there and represent the Sonics? No. Does that mean that I did it to get some (sex)? Absolutely.”
“This wasn’t meant to be (anything negative) toward the Sonics,” said Craven, who said he has three daughters, is separated from his wife and works in property management. “People get lied to all the time. Did I do anything illegal against the Sonics? No. Did I go out and represent the Sonics in any fashion? I’m not actually proposing that I did that. Did I do this for the broad? Yes.”

Wow. This guy is never going to get laid again. Ever.

| Comments (4)


it is d-bags like this who make me think that if you have consensual sex with someone, but through fraudulent means, it should be rape.

If you're going to have sex with somebody based entirely on their job (Or previous ones), and not what they look like, how they act, what they say etc., you deserve to be fooled into sex. Don't fuck people for stupid reasons.

Hmmm, I live in Somerville and work in property management. I'm also pretty sure that I met the Sonics' Jeff Turner on Craigslist. Don't tell me Jeffy is sleeping with some other broad!

Property management my butt. He works for his family who own some property that he checks on and he doesn't do diddly. He is a loser who thinks he is better than everyone else. Another poser wannabe from the Ville.