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Oh, whatever …
Well, now that Britney’s most recent shenanigans have reached family court, I suppose she’s fair game for us, even if the whole debacle makes me a little ill. I’m of two minds on the girl: 1) Get some help, sweetheart, before you find yourself and your bald head face down in a puddle of your own stubble-flecked vomit; or 2) keep this bullshit up long enough and maybe the mainstream and tabloid medias will just get tired of you and move on to something more newsworthy, like the public meltdown and self-ulgification of John “Walnuts” McCain. I’m not optimistic.
Either way, the events of the last two weeks have miraculously created a sympathetic character in Britney’s soon-to-be-ex, Kevin Federline, who is scheduled to appear in an L.A. family court today for an emergency hearing deciding the custody of the couple’s two children. Currently, the two have joint custody, but it is expected that Federline will seek sole custody, at least until Britney cleans up her shit — and given the fact that she enters rehab with her car running and the keys still in the ignition, I can’t imagine that’s going to come anytime soon.
But doesn’t it just make you want to shave your own goddamn head to see that the freakin’ Washington Post finds this newsworthy enough to run a story that quotes the motherfucking “Insider,” which is euphemistically referred to as a “TV news magazine.” Don’t kid yourself — the AP story is quoting trashy, tabloid television detritus. And suddenly, it’s the level to which we’ve all stooped.
Updated: Britney is now back in rehab, and K-Fed has called off the custody hearing for the time being, or so says the Associated Press, which sources those respectable bastions of intelligence: TMZ.com, “The Insider,” and “Extra.”
