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Oh, Andy Keaton!

16897618.jpgWhy must you prove child-actor stereotypes correct?

The man who played Michael J. Fox’s brother on “Family Ties” when he was a child is due in Boulder court Wednesday, accused of violating his probation after assaulting his girlfriend.
Brian Bonsall, 26, played Andy Keaton on the long-running television show from 1986 to 1989. He also stared as Alexander Rozhenko in “Star Trek: The Next Generation” on seven episodes between 1992 and 1994.
Last year, he was charged with assaulting his girlfriend and was sentenced to probation. Now, he’s accused of violating his probation by failing to pay for domestic-violence classes, missing daily alcohol checks and testing positive for alcohol, according to published reports.

Oh, I understand why you turned out the way you did. Your parents — Steve and Elyse Keaton — were smelly hippies with didn’t believe in discipline or tough love. You should’ve been spanked more as a child, and maybe you wouldn’t have grown up to be such a violent, heathenistic brat.