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Naked Lunch
You know, I could totally ramble on today about the cease-and-desist letter that Oprah is threatening to bring against a 69-year-old Kansas teacher attempting to cajole her into running for President. Or I could mention the non-story surrounding the death of Anna Nicole’s son, which is looking more and more like it was the result of natural causes (or, at least as natural as one can expect for a 20-year-old who dies spontaneously). There’s even a nice “human interest” story about a postal worker who was sentenced to six months of prison for urinating in his co-workers’ coffee over a period of several months.
But, I think that for today I’m going to go the PSA route and alert all of our female readers to the potential dangers of the birth-control patch. Indeed, for all you ladies trying to dodge pregnancy by putting a sticker on your abdomen, you should be aware of the health concerns. According to one study, women who use the patch face twice the risk of blood clots than women who use the pill, though a second study revealed there was no difference. Another study conducted by the Associated Press also revealed that patch users are three-times more likely to get a blood clot and die than women who take the pill. And, I suppose it goes without saying, if you are a smoker, it’s best to stay away from the patch all together. Ortho Evra, the manufacturer of the birth-control patch, has also disclosed that approximately 500 people have filed lawsuits or made claims related to injuries they allegedly suffered from the patch.
I don’t know what the lesson here is, but if the birth-control patch gives women the same sweet William S. Burroughs-type dreams that the nicotine patch has offered me in the past, I think I might risk the blood clots. Seriously, that nicotine patch — while asleep, anyway — is the closest thing you can get to legalized tripping. So if you’re trying to quit, or even if you’re a non-smoker that’s just kind of bored, I totally recommend the nicotine patch.
