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Motion to Kiss My Ass

kissmyass.jpg

Granted, this case is a decade old, and yes — most of the other legal blogs covered it years ago. But, I just discovered it myself, and since QuizLaw wasn’t around at the turn of the century, I feel it is our duty to add this to our archives for posterity’s sake. It’s just too good not to.

The case concerns a man by the name of Matthew Washington, a prison inmate and frequent pro se litigator. In 1996, a district court judge in Georgia, William T. Moore, ordered that Washington post a $1500 bond before he was allowed to file any more lawsuits or motions. Why?

Because in connection with a civil rights lawsuit that Washington brought against various judges, Washington filed a “Motion to Kiss My Ass” asking “all Americans at large and one corrupt Judge Smith to kiss my got damn ass sorry mother fucker you.”

The “Motion to Kiss My Ass,” was not, however, the first colorful pleading he tried to push through. Apparently, at one point, he was filing motions on a weekly basis and had filed up to 75 of them in one relatively simple civil rights lawsuit. Included among those motions were: “Motion to Behoove an Inquisition,” “Motion for Judex Delegatus,” “Motion for Restoration of Sanity,” and “Motion for Deinstitutionalization.”

From Judge Moore’s opinion:

The motions ranged from the mundane, such as “Motion for Change of Venue”, to the arcane, such as “Motion for Cesset pro Cessus” and “Motion for Judex Delegatus”, to the curious, such as “Motion for Nunc pro Tunc” and “Motion for Psychoanalysis”, to the outlandish, such as “Motion to Impeach Judge Alaimo” and “Motion to Renounce Citizenship” and “Motion to Exhume Body of Alex Hodgson”.

And later:

Recently, he filed a “Motion for Catered Food Services” in which he complained about the prison food and moved for a court order allowing him to “receive catered food from some credible responsible business establishment preferred and paid for by Plaintiff.”

I love pro se litigants.

Extra special hat tip to The Llama Butchers for brining this to my attention.