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Look How They Shine for You

1025276_coldplay_200x200.jpgLate last week, a woman in a Seattle karaoke bar … ummm … completely lost her shit when a customer decided to sing Coldplay’s “Yellow.” According to the Smoking Gun:

Lindsey Lawrence, 21, assaulted the unnamed victim while he was performing with “two other subjects” at Changes Tavern, where patrons sing karaoke Wednesday and Thursday night from 9 PM until 1 AM. When the assault victim launched into Coldplay’s “Yellow,” Lawrence allegedly told the man that his “singing sucked” and that the song “fucking sucked.” She then grabbed at the man’s microphone and “pushed him and punched him in order to get him to stop singing,” cops reported. When employees escorted Lawrence from the bar, she “became very violent” and struck several other people (and was hostile towards police and fire department medics who responded to the scene).

Lawrence is being held on an assault charge. But, honestly, can you blame the woman? Have you ever listened to the lyrics to “Yellow”? Seriously, they may be some of the worst ever written. Here’s a snippet:

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I’ve done
And it was all yellow

Honestly, with lyrics like those and a voice capable of actually piercing the front lobes of the brain, it’s a goddamn wonder how Gwyneth doesn’t beat the shit out of her husband every night of the week. “Look at the stars — *bwap* — look how they shine — *schtoof* — yellow.”

| Comments (2)


I really have to agree. I can't stand Coldplay - and for karaoke? So many better songs.

Gwyneth named their children Apple and Moses. I don't think she's right in the head either.