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John Roberts Rocks the Hoyas
Chiseled and studly Supreme Court Frontman John “McDreamy” Roberts melted some panties yesterday at Georgetown Law School, delivering his first law-school commencement speech as a member of the nation’s highest court. In his brief, 15-minute remarks, Roberts called upon the Supreme Court to provide greater consensus, arguing the importance of deciding issues on the “narrowest possible ground.” The youngest, and arguably hunkiest Chief Justice in the Supreme Court’s history observed that the nation would benefit greatly if the Court could get its shit together and stop disagreeing all the time, waving a peace sign and calling upon the Court to stop arriving at 5-4 decisions and come to a “broader agreement” on narrow issues.
Roberts, in what presumably was an effort to elicit the brassiere removal of the female grads, also showed his snarky side. In discussing the scrutiny that he and Justice Samuel Alito endured during the last year’s confirmation hearings, Roberts noted, “Look at the graduates around you. Twenty some years from now, these are the people the press is going to track down to find something embarrassing about you. Today is the day to decide among yourselves,” he said with a grin, “What happens at Georgetown stays at Georgetown.”
Most relieved among Georgetown law students to hear that statement: Drew Hoffman, the jackass who was sentenced to 12 days of jail after getting clocked going 126 mph trying to impress his girlfriend.
