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I’m High on Jesus! And a Little Bit of Marijuana

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Sometimes, the words speak for themselves. From a small-town Oklahoma police blotter:

Saturday, about 5:20 a.m., Officer Rocky McDaniel was sent to check on a woman walking in the middle of University Blvd., causing drivers to have to go around her. The woman had “very red bloodshot eyes and very intoxicated on an unknown drug… did not have any normal behavior,” McDaniel wrote in his report. She said she was going to the emergency room to see a friend who had overdosed.

When he asked her if she knew why McDaniel stopped her, she stated “because I was walking in traffic.” Yes, that was correct, and he explained she couldn’t walk in the roadway. Then, he asked her if she was high on some kind of drug. Her answer, the report said, was “I am. It’s the Holy Spirit and little bit of marijuana.” He asked if she had any left and she said, “Not enough to get you high, but I know who to go to for more.” McDaniel asked who and she answered, “Jesus.”

She searched herself and produced a glass pipe with a green leafy substance residue, and she stated, according to the report, that she had “put it in the pipe so I would not lose it for later.”

McDaniel asked if that was all she had on her and she emptied her pockets. The last pocket she searched, the report continues, she pulled two plastic drinking straws and a plastic baggy with a white powder inside. “I guess not. That’s my snort tubes and there is just a little left in the baggy, but not enough to use.” She then handed all the property to McDaniel.

McDaniel said he was going to have to take her to jail. She leaned over and picked up her coat and said, “OK… It’s getting cold out here.”

When given jail breakfast, she made an applesauce sandwich, then took off her sock and wiped her mouth with it, the report continued.