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I Must Know What Kind of Sandwich It Was

176450750_3c1dc199b3.jpgDamnit. Damnit. You ever get hung up on the minutia in an otherwise interesting story? Sure, beating your girlfriend with a sandwich makes for a fascinating post, but not knowing what kind of sandwich it was is going to eat at me all night. Or until I hit publish.

A 19-year-old man accused of hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off and nearly causing a traffic crash is facing domestic battery and child abuse charges, according to a recently released police report.
The alleged melee on wheels began after the 19-year-old victim on Friday picked up Emmanuelle Rodriguez — her boyfriend and child’s father — from his mother’s house in Port St. Lucie. They headed north on Interstate 95 to their new apartment in Fort Pierce as their 7-month-old son slept in the back.
The victim told police that Rodriguez got angry while she drove and “started to hit her in the arm and striking her in the face with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off her face,” the report states.
The victim nearly lost control of the vehicle because she couldn’t see the road. Rodriguez then ripped off the rear view mirror and used it to beat and shatter the windshield. She exited I-95 at St. Lucie West and told Rodriguez to get out and get his mother to pick him up.
The type of sandwich hurled was not specified in the report.

If you don’t know what kind of sandwich it was, then why mention it? Was it a BLT? A Tuna Melt? Or was it a knuckle sandwich? Maybe it was one of those wish sandwiches my father was always talking about (take two pieces of bread and wish there was some meat inside).

Also, it probably doesn’t even need be mention, but the sandwich beating took place in Florida. Obviously. So it was probably a Cuban. Those things are lethal.

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Comments

Obviously it was a club.

Master Mahan wins the internet.

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