« How to Get Out of a Speeding Ticket, 201 | Main | The Daily Memo - 7/1/08 »

How to Get Your Parole Revoked, 201

the-parole-officer.jpgHello class. For those of you who don’t know what you’ve signed up for, this course is pretty straightforward. We’re going to talk about what to do when you’re released from prison and just want to get back. Last semester, we talked about the easy way to get parole revoked, by simply not showing up to meet with your parole officer. But that’s boring. There’s no art to it, no panache. To take it to the next level, you have to get creative.

Marcus George, a 20-year-old Arkansas parolee, is the perfect example. When George decided he wanted to go back to prison, he didn’t just skip out on his parole. Nah, that’s fucking kid’s play. Instead, George did show up to meet with his parole officer, only he did so in a stolen car. So now he gets to return to jail with some shiny new convictions pending. Whatever with your broken parole — this is how to get things done kids.

Everyone go home and study by thinking of the best type of criminal evidence you could present to your parole officer in the hopes of getting re-arrested. Class dismissed.

| Comments (3)


That reminds me of that guy in England (last year? 2 years ago?) that was on a weekend pass out of jail and stole a car to get back in time.

A friend of mine is a parole officer. He once had a parolee (who had been charged with vaious drug offenses) show up to meet with him wearing a t-shirt with a drawing of a giant pot leaf on it. He tested the guy, and sure enough, there were illicit substances in his piss, and his parole got revoked. The sad thing is, my friend hadn't even planned on testing him that day, but had to once he saw the guy wearing that shirt.

My brother release date is 2037 and he will be up for parole in 2019. What is the posibilities that he will get out on parole?