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Hmmm…this salad tastes like it has a bit more protein than usual
Thanks to the ever-vigilant Smoking Gun, we have learned of a fantastic little letter that the principal of Wheaton North High School, in Illinois, had to send to student parents to alert them of a little, uhm, situation. We’ll let Principal Bullo’s words explain the reason for the letter:
There is no tactful way to give you this information, so I will explain it as it occurred. During the “D” lunch period on December 6, 2007, a male student removed a Ranch salad dressing container from the Student Commons, went into the boy’s restroom, ejaculated into the bottle, and then returned the container to the condiment table. It is unclear if anyone subsequently used the salad dressing prior to its normal cleaning by food service personnel.
The 17-year old has been charged with two misdemeanors and is set to surrender to the cops today.
If he winds up in the clink, this kind of culinary creativity should totally land him kitchen duty. After all, it’s all about using the ingredients that are available to you.
Comments
How the heck did they catch him?
My 'stoopidest criminal' scenario goes like this: He videotaped himself harvest his seed, posted it on YouTube and some geek from the school saw it.
Just a guess.
Posted by Mountebank | December 18, 2006 6:10 PM
You may also remember that the teenager suing the other teen over an iPod was also from Wheaton. This is what happens when you live in a town with more churches per capita than any other. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheaton%2C_Illinois)
Posted by Courtney | December 27, 2006 1:48 PM