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He keeps going and going and going and going….
So back in 1996, an unfortunate Rhode Island handyman by the name of Charles Lennon was in dire straits due to a touch of the ol’ impotency. As this was before the modern boon of Viagra and Cialis, Lennon opted to solve his problems with a penile implant. This implant, the Dura-II, was designed to move around so that Lennon could put it into an “up” position for sex and a “down” position for the rest of the time. Only thing is, he wasn’t able to put it into the “down” position, so he’s now had a perpetual erection for 10 years. Over the past decade, Lennon has become a virtual recluse as a result of his pain and embarrassment. No biking, no swimming, no hugging folks. And when he does actually go out in public, he’s stuck wearing a fanny pack to hide his condition. And no, he can’t have the implant removed because of other health problems which prevent him from having any more invasive surgery.
So in his 2004 products liability lawsuit, the jury awarded him $750,000 in damages. However, the judge overseeing the case reduced the amount to $400,000, finding the jury’s award excessive. The requisite appeals followed and only last Friday did Lennon’s case, if not his erection, finally came to an end as the Rhode Island Supreme Court affirmed the $400,000 award. It’s a shame that Lennon is 68 - if he was a little younger, he probably could’ve moved to the Valley (outside of Los Angeles) and earned himself quite a little coin/reputation in the porn industry. And he’s already got a custom-made porn moniker, The Handyman.
In any event, to my mind there’s nothing excessive about the original $750,000 award. This guy’s living the eternal eighth-grade-with-your-books-in-front-of-you experience and that nightmare’s gotta be worth at least a million.
