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He Had it Comin’ …

1193813220.pjpegThis is the best excuse since, “Honey. Honestly, I just slipped and fell and my penis landed in her vagina. For reals!”

A man who tried to suffocate a prostitute told police the woman accidentally put her head inside the plastic bag. The Supreme Court in Brisbane was told on Monday 22-year-old Dirk Antoni Van Den Brand had tried to suffocate the 37-year-old woman at her Brisbane home in September last year. Prosecutor Michael Lahane said Van Den Brand slipped the plastic bag over the woman’s head and tightened his hands around her neck as she escorted him to the door.
Mr Lahane said Van Den Brand told police he had arrived at the woman’s apartment with sex aids in the plastic bag. He said as he was going to leave he had simply been holding the open plastic bag at her head level, and the woman had turned and accidentally walked into it. Van Den Brand said the woman panicked and struggled, and then he was unfairly assaulted by her boyfriend.

Her head just fell into the plastic bag, huh? Sure, sure. And then she ran into my knife. She ran into my knife ten times! Right?

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Comments

Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz.