« How We Love it When Bloggers Screw the Man | Main | The Daily Memo - 6/8/06 »
“Good ol’ `rock’. Nuthin’ beats that!”
One of the first times I ever made a court appearance, it was for a little case where I was not, to put it lightly, getting along well with the attorney for the other side. So on this particularly day, we were in court for a simple status conference, where the judge basically just wants to see how things are going. At the time, things were not going well as we were involved in a heated discovery dispute (discovery is the grueling pre-trial process where each side tries to get documents and information from the other).
In trying to explain this dispute to the judge, the discussion quickly devolved into a shouting match between myself and the other attorney. Rather than resolving the matter on his, as judges are wont to do, the judge gave us an interesting order. “It’s early in this litigation, and I don’t like seeing you guys not getting along. So what we’re going to do is this - you two are going to walk into that jury room, and you will not come out until you have a handwritten stipulation resolving this matter, signed by both of you. It’s Friday morning right now, and I don’t care if you’re stuck in there all weekend. Don’t come out without a stipulation.” So we went into the jury room, where there was more huffing and shouting (in fact, the court reporter had to come in to shush us, as we were disturbing a trial that had started). But eventually we were able to find some middle ground, and we gave the judge his stipulation (of course, we then spent the next year fighting over that handwritten piece of paper).
I bring this up because a Florida judge has taken this notion in a whole new, and infinitely more fun, direction. This past Tuesday, he was faced with two attorneys who could not agree on where a deposition should be held. Rather than deciding the issue for them, Judge Presnell ordered them to use “a new form of alternative dispute resolution.” Specifically, they are to meet on the courthouse steps on June 30, where they will conduct one round of “rock, paper, scissors.” The winner gets to pick the deposition location.
Simple and to the point. I commend Judge Presnell for issuing this ruling. He even had the foresight to set a time where either side can appeal if they end up disputing “the outcome of this engagement.” While it would be an enormous waste of judicial resources, I kinda’ would like to see an appeal if for no other reason than to find out what the hell one could appeal about in a rock, paper, scissors game.
