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Florida – where me, you, our moms and friends can steal some cars, fling some rocks and fight the Man!
So let’s say you’re a bored 14-year-old Floridian girl with nothing to do. Well, why not kill some time and, just “for the thrill of it,” go on a month-long car stealing spree? You and a friend can snatch Hondas, Accords and Saturns, taking them for thrill rides and maybe even having a fun crash every once in a while! Of course, when you get busted by the cops, you’ll be hit with several charges of grand theft auto. Or, to be more precise, if you’re one Valrico, Florida girl, you’ll be charged with twenty-sex counts of grand theft auto! While the girl in question has admitted to 26 such car snatchings over the past month, folks are looking into whether she may have taken other cars in the Tampa area. Meanwhile, her friend-in-theft remains at large.
But Seth, you say, I’m not a bored 14-year-old Floridian girl with nothing to do – I’m a bored 17-year-old Floridian boy with nothing to do? Well, if stealing cars and taking joy rides just lacks that certain something that gets your blood going, why not head out onto a local overpass and start hucking rocks at the cars below? Although, if you’re going to do this, you might want to avoid hitting the car of an undercover deputy. Otherwise, like our friend in Orange Count, Florida, you may get chased for an hour on foot and ultimately find yourself being charged with the second degree felony of “firing a missile into an occupied vehicle.” Meanwhile, his friend-in-rock-hucking managed to avoid getting caught and remains at large.
So the thread here so far seems to be that it’s good to be the friend. Does the same hold true for moms? Well, let’s look at the 22-year-old who decided to drive around with a suspended license and then draw attention to himself by turning without using a turn signal right in front of a deputy sheriff. The sheriff chased the man down and they eventually got into a tussle in front of the man’s house. The struggle moved up the front porch and into the house (I picture the two of them rolling around in a Looney Tunes ball of dust), when the man’s mother got involved. She allegedly snatched the deputy’s gun belt and started scratching at him when he tried to radio for backup. Needless to say, they’re both being hit with felony charges. So no, it’s better to be the friend than to be the mom.
Of course, they’re all (arrestees, friends and moms) winners in the grand scheme of things, since they get to live in Florida (albeit, some may be living behind Florida bars for the foreseeable future).
