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Florida Reaches Apex of Absurdity
In Orlando this week, a man was arrested for one of the most vile, despicable crimes I’ve ever heard tale of. An offense so heinous that the police had to collect a vial of stew as evidence. And the entire ugly, horrific stomach-churning debacle was caught on film by an undercover police officer – who must have had to fight to keep the contents of his stomach down.
Eric Montanez, 21, who belongs to what must be a terrorist organization that goes by the name of “Food Not Bombs,” (Al-Qaeda?) did the absolute unspeakable: He fed a large group of homeless people.
I know. I know! Try to maintain your composure. The world is, indeed, an ugly place. And you know what’s worse? That sick fucker fed over 30 homeless people and did it by spooning stew out of a large pot using a ladle (gasp!).
Oh the humanity! That asshole was rightfully arrested under the very Patriotic Miami law which makes it a crime (a dastardly, monstrous crime) to feed more than 25 homeless people within two miles of Orlando’s City Hall.
I hope that they lock this bastard up for life and throw away the key! This shit is appalling.
Comments
Lock him up? I say let's get Florida's death penalty system oiled up and ready to go.
Posted by Lesli | April 6, 2007 2:54 PM
Hi:
i got a laugh out of your comments and i will be posting them to our e-mail list. Our four ACLU lawyers will probably get a chuckle out of them as well.
ben markeson
orlando food not bombs
Oh yeah: last year Orlando had a record-setting 49 murders with another dozen+ this year, but that didn't stop the Orlando police from using at least a dozen officers to videotape us and to arrest Eric.
Posted by Ben Markeson | April 7, 2007 10:51 AM
It's even worse than all this: Food Not Bombs serves free vegan food! Free, healthy food? Get Alberto Gonzalez on this now!
http://www.foodnotbombs.net/
Posted by FootFace | April 14, 2007 7:18 PM