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Dude’s Got a Point — It’s All About Penis Size

oil rig.jpgYou just knew there was something underneath the over-enthusiastic fervor with which John McCain has attacked Barack Obama for suggesting that keeping your tires inflated will help conserve gas. This guy sees between the Rovian lines, and I think he’s on to something:

Meanwhile, McCain himself was sent out to pose in front of working oil rigs, to testify to his thirst for pulling more black gold from the earth. The message couldn’t be plainer: See that itty-bitty, little tire gauge? If you vote for Obama, that’s how big your penis is. If you vote for McCain, on the other hand, your penis is as big as this rig, thrusting its gigantic shaft in and out of the ground! Real men think keeping your tires inflated is for weenies.
There may not be a sign tacked to a bulletin board at McCain headquarters reading, “It’s the sexual insecurity, stupid,” but McCain’s team of operatives, many schooled at Karl Rove’s knee, know just what to do when an opportunity presents itself. They’ve been playing this tune for so long, they don’t need to look at the sheet music: Our guy is a real man, their guy is a sissy, rinse, repeat.

Sheesh. You gotta do something to offset the obvious: McCain is, like, an erectile dysfunction commercial waiting to happen, while Barack Obama has … well, very large hands. And that oil rig — that’s McCain’s Hummer; his small-penis car. Dude’s gotta compensate somehow.

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Comments

dude, i love you, but i actually had somebody explain some of this to me.
i agree with obama that we need to aim towards more earth friendly fuels, but RIGHT NOW america runs on oil. so in that regard i agree with mc cain.
and what about the fact that corn, which used to be used for food, livestock feed, etc. is being used as fuel, making of plastics, everything else you can think of, has managed to raise food prices?
don't flame me, guys, look it up.
right now i don't favor either guy. i'm putting all my money into tequila.