Don’t Throw out the Bath Water with the Baby
When I was a young’in, my folks — like most, I suspect — used to argue occasionally. Sometimes, if my Mom prepared the same goddamn brand of Hamburger Helper two weeks in a row, things would really get heated. Once, in fact, after my Dad had drank four of five Miller Lites, he got so angry, he picked up the plate of Hamburger Helper and smashed it against the wall, raining Double Cheeseburger all over our dining room and eliciting a chorus of tears from my siblings and I, who loved Double Cheeseburger Hamburger Helper.*
Crazy story, right? Well, everything is relative, especially when you compare the account to that of Chyrotia Graham, a 27-year-old Erie, Pa. woman whose drunken argument with her husband suddenly turned violent. Instead of picking up a plate of Hamburger Helper and throwing it at her husband, however, Graham picked up the closest thing available: Her baby.
Yep. You heard me right. During the argument, Graham began picking up everything in sight and tossing them at her husband, up and until she picked her four-week-old son up by the legs and swung him at his father, resulting in a fractured skull and bleeding in the brain.
Graham now faces charges of assault and reckless endangerment and all her children have been removed temporarily from her custody.
(* Note: I made this part up.)