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Are we sure this potential juror’s name wasn’t Ugly Kid Joe?

ukJoe.jpgDaniel Ellis is a Cape Cod man who was called into his local court as a potential juror on Monday. Specifically, he was in a pool of 60 folks, of which 23 people were being culled for a grand jury. When he got to the courthouse, Ellis filled out the typical jury questionnaire, although his answers weren’t so typical, as he wrote that he hated blacks and gays.

This obviously caught Judge Gary Nickerson’s attention, so the issue came up in the courtroom. Ellis told the judge that he was, indeed, a racist and a homophobe. And a habitual liar. In fact, here’s part of their conversation, complete with Ellis’ own attempt at a quasi-punchline:

“You say on your form that you’re not a fan of homosexuals,” Nickerson said.
“That I’m a racist,” Ellis interrupted.
“I’m frequently found to be a liar, too. I can’t really help it,” Ellis added.
“I’m sorry?” Nickerson said.
“I said I’m frequently found to be a liar,” Ellis replied.
“So, are you lying to me now?” Nickerson asked.
“Well, I don’t know. I might be,” was the response.

But Ellis then fessed up to not actually be a lying racist homophobe, and that he was simply trying to get out jury duty. At which point Judge Nickerson bitchslapped him: “In 32 years of service in courtrooms, as a prosecutor, as a defense attorney and now as a judge, I have quite frankly never confronted such a brazen situation of an individual attempting to avoid juror service.” Ellis was then taken into custody and, although he was released later in the morning, he will likely face perjury charges (and maybe some other nasty charges).

Folks, just serve your jury duty.

(As a bonus, head over to YouTube to check out Ugly Kid’s Joe video for their classic “Everything About You” - I’d embed it, but Universal Music Group is, apparently, not so much a fan of the embedding.)

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Comments

Idiot. Everyone knows the top three identities to get out of jury duty:

1) Star Trek captain (actually used)

2) Satanist

3) Fake friend of defendant

Sorry, QuizLaw, but no, I will not serve my jury duty. I'd be lying to get out of it too.

If I were on trial, I'd want people on the jury who wanted to be there. I don't want to serve on a jury, why would you want me to be in a position to judge you? Forcing me to serve is just going to color my judgment. Sorry, I'm human and fallible, and I'm not excited about taking a SEVERE pay cut to do the court a favor a help sort out an issue others (like judges and lawyers) are trained and paid to do. I'm self-employed and if I don't work, I don't eat. Civic duty, blah, blah, blah... if they matched my daily pay, then I'd seriously consider it. But the current rate of 14 bucks a day doesn't even put the gas in my car to get to the courthouse.