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Appy-polly-loggies
So a little while back, there were four teens looking for a night of fun. But, alas, they couldn’t find anything to do. So they apparently decided to take their inspiration from A Clockwork Orange by going out and beating a homeless man to death. They all got caught and pled guilty to avoid life sentences - three of these fuckers were given sentences between 27 and 35 years, but lil’ Warren Messner got lucky with just a 22-year sentence.
After 8 months in juvy clink, however, lil’ Warren Messner decided that this whole jail thing is just no good. So he filed a motion seeking a shorter sentence, arguing that he’s learned his lesson and could be an inspirational speaker for other troubled teens. Never mind the fact that when he was originally asked if he felt bad while killing this man he said “not really, no.” That was then, you see, and he’s learned his lesson.
Plus, this whole juvy jail thing is hard! As he explained it to the Court, he just spends all his time locked in a cell, without getting a good education. Unsurprisingly, the state prosecutor and the judge both told the kid to get bent because, you know, that’s kinda’ the point of prison, to be locked up without the same type of services that free folks get. Free folks who didn’t decide to go out and kill a homeless man.
Of course, if he’s looking for education while in the clink, maybe we need look no further than his original source of inspiration:
