« The Daily Memo - 8/8/06 | Main | At least he didn’t call the judge “sugar tits” »

A QuizLaw Lesson in Internet Porn

internet porn.jpgA few weeks ago, the QuizLaw blog provided a valuable lesson on at-will employment and its relationship to a children’s television host who was fired for advocating anal sex many years ago. Today, QuizLaw digs even deeper, offering another session on workplace law, this time concerning Internet use.

For the sake of argument, let’s say that your name is Jeffery Brian Ziegler and you’re an important person in a billing firm. And hypothetically, let’s say that your job doesn’t always offer the most exciting tasks and, well, you’ve got your own office hidden away from everyone else. So one afternoon, when things slow down a bit, you decide to surf around the Internet. But you’re not really interested in checking out the gossip blogs or even our fair site, which is a shame, because we might’ve saved you from a criminal conviction and a lot of embarrassment. What you are interested in, however, are nudie pictures of “very, very young girls.” In other words, you’re a pervert.

What you don’t know, meanwhile, is that your workplace actually monitors your Internet activity. And, lo and behold, the IT guy at your office has discovered, through caches of your Internet activity, that you have a fondness for child pornography. And it’s not like you just stumbled into the underage cesspool of flesh via the random email spam with the subject heading “horny amateur teen.” No, actually, there is ample evidence showing that you had searched for things like “preteen girls” and “underage girls.”

So, the IT guy calls the Feds, complaining that there is a kiddie-porn fiend in the office, and the Feds bust your ass and download your hard drives. And, of course, you’re all embarrassed that you got caught with your hand in the underage cookie jar, so you file a suppression motion.

Which brings us to the question of the day: Do you have a legitimate expectation of privacy in your office and your computer.

And the answer, at least according to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, is: Hell no! There is no expectation of privacy in your workplace computer, dumbass! Your company paid for the computer, your company paid for the Internet access and your company paid you for your time. Moreover, employer monitoring is an assumed practice, so what the hell are you doing looking at little girls without their dresses? In short, you’re going to jail, brother.

| Comments (1)


Comments

Very well written. I see nothing wrong in being amused by other's stupidity.