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Winnie the Pooh Wreaks Mayhem and Carnage

winniepooh.pngA 14-year-old seventh grader out in California has enrolled the ACLU’s help in a potential lawsuit against her school. Toni Kay Scott is suing because she was sent to in-school suspension for Students with Attitude Problems, after she was punished for wearing Winnie the Pooh socks to class.

Can you believe that? What’s next? Kids will start wearing “Looney Tunes,” T-shirts? Bringing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lunch boxes to school? Or strapping on “Dora the Explorer” wrist bands? Honestly, it’s a good thing that the Napa, California school nipped this one in the bud, before shit got out of hand. It’s a slippery slope, here. You let one 7th grader wear socks with Tigger on them, and the next thing you know, those goddamn middle-schoolers will be singing broadway songs from Annie and flinging feces at one another during class. This bullshit has got to stop. Tigger?! Clearly, he’s just a mascot for one of the middle-school gangs; soon enough, the Poohs will be bringing guns to classes and mowing down Tiggers in the hallways.

The school, understandably, has a very strict dress code:

The school’s policy requires students to wear clothes with solid colors in blue, white, green, yellow, khaki, gray, brown and black. Permitted fabrics are cotton twill, corduroy and chino. No denim is allowed.

And you know why denim isn’t allowed, right? Because it encourages denim fucking in the back of the class. You start wearing Tigger socks and denim skirts, and the next thing you know, you’ve got a middle-school pregnancy epidemic on your hands. And we’ve got to put a stop to this. Otherwise, the next thing you know, eight-graders will be pissing in their teacher’s coffee pots.