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What’s With all the Understatements?

panties.jpg

In the state of Washington, a man was arrested and charged yesterday with theft and burglary. And what did Mr. Garth Flaherty steal?

93 pounds of panties.

How many pairs of female underwear is that? About 1500, which he stole from apartment complex laundry rooms. It was enough, in fact, to fill five garbage bags full of underwear.

As one police officer stated, “He said he had a problem.” Yeah. No shit. I’d say stealing 10 pairs of panties might be considered a “problem.” Stealing 1500 pairs is more like full-blown crazy, unless – of course – he was trying to build the first nuclear fall-out shelter made entirely of female underwear.

In an unrelated story, a woman appeared at a frat house in Michigan, lied down on one of the frat couches, took off her underwear, and started masturbating. The members of the frat kindly asked her to leave, but she refused and continued masturbating. For about half an hour. When asked if she was alright, the woman said that she was fine. And then continued to masturbate.

As one fraternity member stated, “Obviously, she was very disturbed. It was not how a normal person would respond to people.” No shit.

The fraternity members said they would throw out the two couches the woman, who was not apprehended, masturbated on. I bet I know a certain guy with a panty-obsession who might appreciate owning those two couches.

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Comments

Dustin, learn English. Please.