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Man. Somebody Really Needs to Quit Smoking


In Johnson City, Tennessee — hotbed for old-time music — the prison inmates are serious about their nicotine habits. How serious, you ask? Two inmates in a smoke-free prison (both of whom were serving murder sentences) attacked a guard and took him hostage.

The stand-off lasted about six hours, up and until negotiators finally met their demands.

As the night progressed they started saying, ‘Look, we’ll give up if you let us have some tobacco. If you do that, we’ll go back to our cell,”’ [the prison warden] said. “They got them some cigarettes, they smoked them and went back to their cell and locked themselves back in.”

The lesson here, of course is: Don’t screw with a murderer’s cigarettes. The two of them are probably serving life sentences; I’d argue that it’s cruel and unusual not to let them at least attempt to shorten those sentences by hastening death.