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Don’t Mess with a Law Student’s Laptop. Bitch.

laptop-robber.jpgYou ever see a first-year law student out and about? No, of course you haven’t. First year law students don’t leave their apartments. They burrow with a bunch of books, a lot of coffee, a pack of cigarettes, and maybe some meth. They lose their color, and over the course of the year, begin to mentally unravel. If there’s one person you don’t want to get into a fight with, it’s a first-year law student. They batshit. And if you fuck with them, they will fuck you up. Just ask this burglar (pictured, with the messed up face):

A thief learned the mistake of trying to steal a law student’s laptop last week after after becoming a punching bag for an Arizona State student he tried to rip off. Armed with a baseball bat, the intruder, Gabriel Saucedo, allegedly climbed through an open window into Alex Botsios’ apartment, waking the student and threatening to smash his head in.
Botsios was willing to let Saucedo take his wallet and guitars. Then the robber made the mistake that ultimately landed him in the hospital — he went for the laptop. According to Botsios, he said “Dude, no — please, no! I have all my case notes…that’s four months of work!” Saucedo, obviously underestimating the fury of an overstressed, overworked first-year, was unsympathetic. That’s when Botsios could take no more.
Wrestling Saucdeo to the floor, Botsios separated the bat from the thief and repeatedly punched him in the face. When it was all over, police had to get Saucedo stitched up before charging him with armed robbery and kidnapping, while Botsios only suffered some scrapes and a bruised knuckle. Most importantly, at least to the student, is that his laptop, which he called “his baby,” escaped unharmed. Next time, Saucedo might want to try robbing a third-year student, as they’re generally more docile.

A first year law student’s relationship with his laptop is a lot like a bear with its cub. If you want to steal it, you gotta lure the 1l away with coffee and uppers. When they approach, open a shade. The sunlight will probably blind them long enough for you to run away with the computer.

| Comments (4)


This is awesome.

I bet that kid is a total gunner, though.

My laptop is still my baby. We had a fire in my apartment building (it ended up being just in the dumpster, some idiot probably threw his lit cigarette down the chute), and the first thing I did was grab my laptop before evacuating.

He probably didnt want anyone else to get their hands on his A+ summaries and answer keys.

I probably would give up the laptop and not risk my life over notes. I'd just go to http://www.outlines.com/ and get new ones there. Not necessarily a very bright move in hindsight