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Common Sense Lesson #137

postnet.jpgSo a dude walks into a PostNet with a box (PostNet is a shipping company). He pays $106 for the box to be shipped from Portland, Oregon to Maryland and carries on his merry way. The PostNet clerk notices a funky smell coming out of the box, so she opens it after the guy leaves (the business has a sign posted notifying customers that they have the right to open and inspect stuff). Inside the box? Five bags of Lay’s Potato Chips.

She asked herself: “Why would anyone pay $106 to fly potato chips across the country?”

So she opened a bag and then called the cops, since it turns out that the bag contained hallucinogenic mushrooms. The cops then went and got a search warrant to open the other bags (Judge Keith Meisenheimer said, about getting the warrant request, “I was thinking ‘This is wild.’ “). In total, the cops ended up finding five pounds of ‘shrooms.

Ok, so the lesson here might have been “dude, don’t mail your drug shipments.” Or “at least odor proof your mailed drug shipments.” But no, neither of these is our lesson. Here be the lesson:

Do not call the shipping company days later to complain about the fact that your package never hit its destination, and especially don’t leave your name and phone number!

The Portland cops had no idea who the chip/mushroom shipper was until Joshua Michael Sturtevant ignored this common sense lesson and, as a result, he now faces a couple of felony charges.

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Comments

These "common sense lessons" are kinda like Darwin Jr. Awards. Sure, these idiots aren't removing themselves completely from the gene pool, but they are being quarantined for a little while. Good work, QL, for simultaneously destroying and reaffirming my faith in humanity.

If they had been Tim's Cascade style chips (especially the jalapeno ones), then I could understand why someone would want to ship those across the country.