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The Emperor set him up!

lordVader.jpgSeems that Darth Vader was recently arrested for assault. And contrary to what Mr. Lucas would have us believe, Anakin Skywalker ain’t the Sith Lord. Rather, his real identity is Andrew Mark Heyes, a 33-year-old British man:

Jayne Kearsley, prosecuting, said that police had been called to a phone box where they found Richard Hignett who told them that Heyes had returned very drunk to his flat after a night at their local pub. But he had then turned nasty and slapped him across the face in an unprovoked attack. Mr Hignett had fled, fearing further attacks, leaving Heyes in his home.

The cops came into the flat to find Heyes passed out on the sofa and when he was woken up and told he was being arrested, he identified himself as Darth Vader. He told the cops “that he had no recollection of assaulting Mr. Hignett,” but his Jedi mind trick didn’t work, and he was convicted and hit with a fine.

My favorite part of this story, actually, is that Wigan Today, which reported this story, clearly has a sense of humor - instead of including a typical photo of the criminal with the article, they instead used a picture of Lord Vader himself.