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“That guy’s bell sounds a bit muffled, no?”

salvation-army.jpgPoor Gerald Warner is homeless. So you could understand if he was feeling a bit bitter about his lot in life, or if he’s lost a few of his marbles from years of the street life. But would you be surprised to learn that he was recently at a local Kmart, where he encountered a Salvation Army volunteer and offered to donate the small amount of change he, himself, had collected over the course of the day?

Of course you would. Because Warner actually offered to donate something else, telling the man: “If you don’t stop ringing that bell, I’m going to shove it up your ass.”

Warner was also sharing his Christmas Spirit with the blue light customers, throwing some curses their way as they came and went. So the Sheriff was called and Warner was arrested for disorderly intoxication. He also landed a charge of resisting arrest when he refused to get out of the cop car when it pulled up to the station.

What I don’t understand is this — this took place in Florida (of course). So how could the cops tell that he was drunk just because he was out in the public cursing and threatening the Salvation Army guy? I mean, that sounds like S.O.P. for Floridians, no?