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I Love You so Much I’m Going to Take You behind the Middle School and Get You Pregnant

21650542.jpgAfter struggling in the ratings all season, “30 Rock” was thankfully renewed for a second-season by NBC. And since then, the cast members have been doing everything in their power to ensure higher ratings. First, Alec Baldwin left that voice-mail to his daughter, calling her a fat-little pig and suggesting she sleeps with ugly old men or some such — the timing was perfect, coming right before “30 Rock’s” season finale.

Now, as the summer doldrums approach and quality network television disappears for four months, another “30 Rock” star is determined to keep the show in the headlines. Just this week, Tracy Morgan appeared on a morning radio show out in South Florida, apparently showing up drunk and trying to sleep with the DJ, Yuleika De Castro.

She has since pressed charges, claiming that Morgan touched her inappropriately — rubbing her arms and shoulders and kissing the back of her head. In fact, at one point, Morgan allegedly said he wanted to impregnate De Castro. She said she felt “dirty” and “violated.”

We’re just waiting for Tina Fey to do something personally humiliating and perhaps criminal, and then we’d have a hat trick and “30 Rock” might get a super-early renewal for its third season. And then we’d be guaranteed another season of brilliance, like this exchange:

Tracy Jordan: I’m gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?
Jack: I’ve got two ears and a heart, don’t I?

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Brandon: Yo Weiner, you better get ready, 'cause at three o' clock today, I'm gonna RAPE you!

Welcome to the dollhouse.