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Cheap bastards get all the breaks

cheap.jpgUp in Canada, aye, Thomas Wood was facing drunk driving charges from last March, when he was pulled over and blew a bit over the limit on a breathalyzer. During his trial, Wood argued that there was no way he could’ve been that drunk because he’s too cheap to drink that much:

On March 30, Wood admitted to consuming some alcohol that night, failed the police’s roadside breathalyzer test and was arrested. Further tests showed readings of 0.13.
Wood testified at his trial in December that he drank a pint and a glass of draft beer over the course of 2½ hours while talking with his employer at a hotel bar after work that evening.
As an aircraft mechanic, he does not drink on the job, he told the court, adding that he also doesn’t drink much after work.
“Mr. Wood says that he is ‘quite cheap,’ and that for that and other reasons, it is his custom to restrict his drinking, as he says he did that evening,” [Judge] Barnett wrote in his decision.

The Judge found that this raised enough reasonable doubt to get him out of the DUI charges. And misers everywhere celebrate by not buying a drink to hoist in the air.

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Yay for Canadian Content!!

For future reference, the correct spelling is "eh", not "aye". A small point, but important for we Canucks. We're hosers, not pirates.